confessions of a dangerous mind

2008 was a very good year for your highness., most of my experiences this year made me discover myself , I spend like a millionaire ,live life like a diplomat in Jakarta,and earned money I mean real money in an easy way. but where is all of that right now? again luck is not on my side. thats why im typing letters to overcome the depression. no one is willing to help me right now my angels are gone, only demons are left. but Im still thankfull, I still eat and get my daily smokes. asking myself if im loosing my ambition .,my inspiration is gone somewhere.. still holding on but i will stand soon and continue the fight whatever it takes.

Time is mine even a small coin means nothing ,"Bling'' what important is the bundled one stack of thirty and the other half is fifteen all in, pockets full., JAcKpot !!! DOLLARs thats my goal. my wrist got shine a lil just for two bets in diversion, in january im waiting for a considerate return of Mr Garcia. that will earn my changes for the year thats about to come 09'. Resolutions to the problem of my constant changes lately will lead to another line with a title corners and edges. this goes to my 08 bitches. Romel Cesa

User friendly environment, techno lust , smokes that makes the eye bleeds and never ending movie marathon. im on my way to somewhere thats what i told them., because they always ask when they see me around. back in the streets of influence and vices. adjustment for me is easy because this is where I came from, changes are certain some of them has changed and some of them remains the same. God has lessen my power for me to learn how to use it right next time. I cant blame my self because I think the experience is enough and im sick of it. I admit that I still dont know where to go at the present moment there are too many paths, may God lead me to the right way to excel and breakthrough. motivation from some strangers is what I need to get up and start again.

all of us was born the same, only the decisions that we made make us different from one another., that was the lesson that i learn in life now that im old enough. a bummer thats what iam during the early stages of my life, I used to hang out with the so called cool people, to be one of them . I learned every vices that this world can offer in my young years, abused everything to the max,without me knowing that there will be a payment for all of this. being a hard headed kid is fun, but playing an adult needs responsibility to fulfill the the role.Ive lean that dicipline is the first word you must understand and teach your children to be in the right path. no one ever teach me that word., or maybe i was not listening that time.

I never realized that Iam now stuck in an island that has no tomorrow., Ive been working for more than 3 years and still I have no savings what I only have are memories of it, ive attained nothing.is it because I was raised this way? I must admit that ive been influenced by the people around me in the early stages of my life or maybe thats because I have no father figure when i was growing up, my mentors was my uncle's and aunt's that spoils me and made me who Iam today,but in that experience ive learned how to use money for power,friends,girls and to earn respect, but not for my future. There are lots of things that I would like to have, places that I would like to go, and many things to do, but its limited sooner ill be 25 im no longer a kid, I have plans to cut the vices that i have but its not that easy,a song of Mick jagger says "old habits die hard" but Iam determined to change for the sake of my inspiration. Iam hoping to meet someone like her to help me in thi...

The Angel is flying away from me.,Maybe She is just a part of my awakening. Thanks anyway for many things that She made me realize, at first I think im tough enough, but in her own special way She showed me that I was weak and rusty., She's my doctor of advise, the one who knows whats bad and good for me.like a medicine she's my daily dose of happiness that gives me a reason to continue my journey in life. Her good heart understands my selfish ways, appreciates the good things thats ive done to others. Its sad to know that She have to go., maybe She's too good for me and I really need to improve myself , Im really looking for a reason why our Souls meet. Her eyes showed me the future in her arms and She made me forget all the bad memories in my past, reminds me of the good ones .She's the Teacher who teached me what LOve is.

Toxic or talk sick it doesnt matter, aslong as im still earning money in every hour that i spend here in our so called office. Our fire portal database has been down for hours today and forecasting amounts for software license renewals has kept me busy since Monday. I just lately realized that being a third party is difficult and uncertain in every aspect . thats my role this past few days in work and in my personal life.,my gambling business has been down lately. a job offer to work in jakarta keeps on bothering me, I was curious to try the stock selling business, but I have a regular work that pays me almost the same here in Makati. Almost everyday the account that im in has a new rule to follow and observe, it was pretty confusing but I have to hold on , compared to the other accounts that they have here in the company, being a part of the CA account is an honor not just because of bilingual people who works in this account or the pay that it gives us., its the premium pride that m...